I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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