so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Randomize
