I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
