I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
P.S. I can't hear my feet
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
