it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
