R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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