Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
