I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
