I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
