i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize