She is in my trunk
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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