There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
