yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
