I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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