I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We are all done wearing pants today
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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