Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
