If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
