K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
