she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
