Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
