"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
