Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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