Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
