Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
