It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
