dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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