your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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