'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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