No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize