can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
