the new term for farting is butt boxing.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
