Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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