from now on my penis is your penis
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
