we're blogging at a bar
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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