We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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