You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
no you cant smoke seaweed
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
