It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
