Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize