At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
