she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
