i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
