why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
