Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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