Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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