Bisexual people are plain selfish.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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