its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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