my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
