id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
