there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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