I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Can you bring me the toilet please
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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