In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
her facebook's as public as her vagina
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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