no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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