dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
