My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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