I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
