We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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