i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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