Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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