so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize