oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
