so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
