so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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