I hate your face
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
