That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
