Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
