i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
