i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We don't watch enough power rangers
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
